LGBTQ Relationships
I was 26 when I became involved in my first gay relationship. It was everything I hoped for—so passionate and intense I wanted to spend all of my free time with him. And, though my lifestyle was still a secret to my family, it was not long before we were living together.
I knew I made a mistake the first week I moved in. He began checking my cell phone, reading my personal emails, and calling my office repeatedly just to make sure I was there. He accused me of cheating on him, screaming and cursing that I was unfaithful. But after each fight, he would always come back, begging for forgiveness, telling me he loved me so much I make him crazy sometimes. And I would succumb.
During one of our arguments, he demanded my cell phone. I refused and he threw me to the ground, wrestling it from my hands. The next thing I knew, he was dialing my mother and outing me.
It was in that hateful moment that I knew there was no love in our relationship. The next day I confided in a friend at work who directed me to The James House.
Hesitant but desperate, I made the call. I was immediately put at ease. I talked with Ellen, a counselor who guided me through the necessary steps to get out of my current living arrangement. She offered me support and counseling, and helped me realize that this was not my fault. Ellen put me in touch with several great organizations who were able to help me. She also gave me some resources that gave me the confidence to talk openly with my family for the first time in years. In fact, it was my parents who helped me gather my things to move back home.
The James House offered the strength and support I needed to start my life over. I fear where I would be today had I not made that call.
- 11% of lesbians reported violence by their female partner and 15% of gay men who had lived with a male partner reported being victimized by a male partner.
- Of the LGBT victims who sought services from the New York City Gay and Lesbian Anti-Violence Project, 36% of clients in 2003 and 38% of clients in 2004 filed police reports regarding intimate partner violence.
- Eighty-eight percent of victims in 2003 and 91 percent of victims in 2004 reported experiencing prior incidents of abuse, with the majority (45 percent and 47 percent, respectively) reporting having experienced more than 10 prior incidents.
- One survey found that same-sex cohabitants reported significantly more intimate partner violence than did opposite-sex cohabitants. Among women, 39.2% of the same-sex cohabitants and 21.7 of the opposite- sex cohabitants reported being raped, physically assaulted, and/or stalked by a marital/cohabiting partner at some time in their lifetime.
- 15.4% of same-sex cohabiting men reported being raped, physically assaulted and/or stalked by a male partner, but 10.8% reported such violence by a female partner.
- rainbowdomesticviolence.itgo.com - Find more information, resources and support to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgendered.
Call one of our Client Services Coordinators for more information on any of our confidential services.
Monday-Thursday, 9:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m., 804-458-2704
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